I am about to recount a story of horror and fear, where truth will befall and the world will crumble.

Recently, I have been doing a lot of research on Piccolo but I dug too deep and went too far. I found the truth of the world and how Dragonball came before the Bible.

Now some crash courses. Akira is the boy who gained god like psychic powers while Toriyama is a bird mountain where bird humans reside during the proto-culture.  Sum up these two sacred names and you will get Akira Toriyama, the author of Dragonball. Coincidence? I don’t think so. From these clues, anybody can conclude that Akira Toriyama is the real descendant of sacred beings and held the ultimate prophecy in the form of cartoon drawing.

Now, let’s go in deeper. We all know that the Namekians don’t have a penis but do we really know the reason why? From my years of research where I held Akira Toriyama on custody from rapid haters and allowed him to explain to me the true meaning behind all the plot holes, I finally know the reason but I regretted as it nearly drove me towards insanity. However, being the one who knows the truth, I have to tell the world at large about the horrible origin of life relating to Piccolo.

The universe we are living in now is actually the continuity of the universe of Dragonball. 10000 years before the universe of Dragonball where Goku was born, the ancestor of Namekians, having the ability of god and the power of know it all knew that destruction will soon come. To minimize the sure to come catastrophe, they took some extreme measures and pass it down to their descendants.

Fast forward it to 10000 years later and we see Trunk  used the time machine to cross through time spaces. As we all know from Dragonball, every time frame has their own alternate dimension, this is why future events will not change even if you tried changing the past. In other words,a  new dimension will be created every time you use the time machine.However,little to we know that this simple theory leads the whole civilization of Dragonball towards destruction.

One day, Trunk took the time machine back to the past. During his journey, his bladder was full but there are no toilets inside the time machine. Unbearable, he zip off his pants and stand outside his time machine for a pee while it travels. At the same time, the time machine just happen to cross the boundary of the dimension to the next alternate dimension,  resulting in the pee crossing over two different dimensions.

How can one pee exist in two different dimensions while being the same pee? What will happen when one sane pee crosses between the dimension resulting in to half a pee in this dimension while the other half in another one?  That’s right, destruction came because one pee cannot be separated into two dimensions.

Floods and meteorites came down to earth and the extreme measures done by the ancestor of Namekian are finally brought to life. The detail of the extreme measure is that the ancestor of Namekians cut off their penises, resulting in their descendants having no penises. Why did they do that you asked? Now, we all know that penis is full of sperm because the primary function of a penis is to transfer them. We also know that Namekians can spit out eggs whenever they want. So what if we poke holes to the penis and the Namekians blew eggs into it? Ah ha, the eggs and sperms will merge and form embryo. These formations of embryos will result in babies. When embryos are form and babies are born, it will form a wondrous shrieking sound that will minimize the catastrophe caused by Trunk’s pee like how Peruvian music make huge hamsters go to sleep. These penises are of course what you called Piccolo.

When the catastrophe strikes, all the Namekians held up the penises passed down by their ancestors. They blew them for days after days until all the  catastrophe went to a halt. They blew it so hard, the Piccolo turned brown. After 9 years of doing these blow jobs non stop, the universe was finally safe but every beings were killed by the catastrophe. The Namekians fell as well and everybody die.

Then the dinosaurs came and died, the ice age came and went and it’s now our time where the only things left behind during the Dragonball universe were the Piccolos from billions of years ago. Archaeologist, Jackie Chan found the left behind Piccolos somewhere near Italy and the rest is history. Many years after that, the sacred beings, Akira Toriyma was born and wrote  the facts and concepts of Piccolo and Namekians in the form of cartoon drawing. People are blinded by the plot holes and failed to see the real messages of truth and life behind it until I was born to decipher it. So now here I am, sharing these scary truths about life to all you readers out there because I was born with this task of forcing bulls to have their bowel movements so people will be educated and understand the real origin of life via well researched scientific facts.

So,who am I? I am CEK, Christophroical Egerian Kendeyrrial.

This is a magnified view inside a Piccolo.

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