Worst show ever? Not worthy for that title.

Mars of Destruction is stupid, weak and a waste of time but worst show ever? Man, people from MAL disappoint me. Do they even watch anime? How can Mars of Destruction be the worst show ever when it was so tame and not really that boring? I can easily name 30 series that are worse than MoD.

Now we all know that” the worst show ever” have two meanings. The first being that it is so boring that it’s bad and the other one being that it is not actually terrible because it is the most awesome thing in life. In other words, so ridiculous awesome that idiots who think that they are sophisticated can’t comprehend. Some called the second type of worst “so bad, it’s good” but I don’t buy that because I think they are genuinely good because they entertain. Not to mention, it’s paradoxical and illogical for something bad to be good.

Anime like Hoshizora Kiseki, Mizuiro, Yotsunoha, Kowarekake no Orgel and Del Power X belong to the first definition of boringly bad. They are boring because nothing substantial happen. They are too tame and mediocre but they are so meh, you don’t even have any expectation for them to be disappointed or get angry about.  These mediocre series are also not morally corrupt or popular enough for you to hate because nobody likes them and they tanked like they are supposed to. For one, Del Power X is so obscure that the fansubber tried really hard to get a LD version of it. For the other shows, have you even heard of them?


This show is more worthy for the Worst Show Ever title.

 

What’s more, they are also so short that your wasted time couldn’t even be count as an investment, especially so when you will be wasting that 1 hour of your life anyway even if you didn’t watch any of the show above. These are the reasons why I couldn’t get angry enough to consider them as the worst show ever even though I think that they are bad. I always believe that when you consider something as the worst, you must have some sort of hatred and anger to support it.

But for the sake of argument, let’s consider them as the worst series ever because I couldn’t come up with anything more boring than them and boring constitutes the biggest part of what I considered as terrible and terrible is the nearest thing to worst.

Now, when you compare MoD to these series, MoD is a lot shorter and more interesting since it actually try to have something akin to a plot. It is also an action series with below par but not Musashi Gundou terrible animation so we are saved from people sprouting uninteresting dialogues to one another. So if it is less boring, how could I consider it to be the worst show ever?

 

Sexist issues in some harmless and tame anime like Bakuman and VN adaptations are always overblown by people. They should watch Blue Flames to understand what real misogyny and sexist is.

 

Then there’s another type of worse which isn’t actually terrible because it is actually the best thing in life aka 80/90s ova or what other sissy who don’t want to be seen as less sophisticated  said, “so bad it’s good”. Now that is the kind of stuff I can see people getting angry about because they are offensive for those who don’t know how to enjoy life. Misogyny, exploitative, disgusting, vile, wtf, ridiculous, ugly, shitty, you name it. These are the like of Hanappe Bazooka, Blue Flames, Sword for Truth and all the Go Nagai’s works that are not super robot related.

Now, most of the shows in this category make no sense whatsoever.  They can end with a cliff hanger or introduce plot elements out of nowhere and you wouldn’t care because their writing had already transcended the realm of conventional narrative structure. They have reached such high standard that what you objectively call good characterization and coherent plot are of no concern because they are awesome and they entertain.

MoD does have small amount of such elements with its bullshit story and exploding head but if you think that the premise of Mars people are actually the earthlings in MoD is ridiculous or terrible, then I don’t know how to describe the awesome plot of Hanappe Bazooka.

You know that this show will be good because the authors of it are crazy

 

For those not in the know, Hanappe Bazooka is a story about a weakling named Hanappe, who stole an av tape home and masturbate. He masturbates so hard and creatively, his masturbation action is actually the ritual to summon the devils. With that, two devils, Dance and Bazooka pop out from his television. Dance is this sexy lesbian devil while Bazooka is this horny black thing that wore a cape.

Hanappe parents and sister then came in to Hanappe’s room and Dance and Bazooka raped them. They raped them so hard, Hanappe’s family comes to enjoy it and accept these two devils and have sex with them every day. The devils then gave Hanappe the power of golden finger where he can just point at any girls he want and that girl will want to have sex with him. After that, they tried to have this serious drama on how this seemly pure and innocent girl that Hanappe has a crush on is actually a slut who sleeps with her teacher to earn marks.

That thing that stick out from the black thing is a boner

Somehow without any build up or whatever, Hanappe decided that the devils fucked up his life too much. He got really angry and tried to exorcise them. The devils then kidnapped Hanappe’s sister and mother while raping them to threaten Hanappe to stop his exorcism. Hanappe gave up and found out that her sister and mother lied to him and actually want the devil to stay so they put on an act to stop Hanappe’s exorcism. Hanappe was so devastated he jumps off a building and died.

Dance, the sexy devil felt sorry for him and went to other space which somehow is where the afterlife world resides to revive him back. Hanappe was transported into this afterlife world where there is this goddess who decides where you will go for your afterlife. The goddess then decided that no one loves Hanappe and he ought to just die and disappear.  Then Dance and Bazooka appear and rescue Hanappe. Bazooka saw that the goddess was naked so he had a boner. Then fuckup things like Hanappe being engulfed into the vagina of the goddess and Bazooka firing some vagina cannons while Dance suddenly have the hot for Hanappe happen. Dance then Hanappe has sex and Hanappe became Super Saiyan and defeat the goddess with the power of love. They then board the space ship home and live life happily after. THE END!

What can you say to that?  Even though it was a comedy, I can tell you that they played all the afterlife bullshit in a serious manner and honestly thought that they are really smart and good. You can feel the passion and genuine seriousness from Go Nagai and Kazuo Koike where they seriously thought that they have created an awesome story. That and the inability in a coherent plot and tons of out of characters instances made the whole show so terrible that it became so awesome. I genuinely liked it and thought that it was awesomely entertaining good without any hints of ironies.

Now, how can MoD compare to that? MoD didn’t even have hilarious random rape and ridiculous misogynistic scenes which are like the number one rule of being ridiculously terrible. So how one can seriously say that MoD is the worst show ever when there are like at least over 50 Hanappe Bazooka out there is beyond me.

With that, MoD failed the test of being boringly awful and hilariously awesome awful to be named as the worst show ever. Its position of awfulness though, is quite interesting in a sense that it was ridiculous but not ridiculous enough, boring yet was somewhat entertaining. That itself is quite a feat because it’s difficult to be in the middle of the two kinds of worst.

Regardless, it was still one awful show but its position of awfulness is in need of more research and dissections. But then again, like the scale of lousy, average and great anime, most people will only care about the two extreme and ignore the average one. So now MoD being the average one in the “boringly lousy, average and awesome” scale applied on “the worst show ever”, you might consider not watching it like how we shouldn’t really care about the average anime unless we have too much time to spare.

 

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