Just now, I feel like interviewing myself so I went into Formspring and generated a bunch of interview questions to ask myself. I am very satisfy with the interview. Here’s the interview:

If you could be on the cover of any magazine, which would you choose?


What’s the best place near you to get a drink?

My penis.

Who’s the coolest person you know?

To answer this question, we must first ask ourselves, “who’s the lamest person I know?”. The answer to that question is “not me”. So if the opposite of coolest is lamest and the opposite of “not me” is “me”, then I guess I am the coolest person after all.

If you could live in any house you wanted to, what would it look like?

Two big testicles with a door in between both of them and a chimney that shoot up like a penis right above the door. Oh and a mushroom head roof.

What was your favorite movie as a child?

I love backdoor slut 69 when I was a child.

What’s the last cartoon you watched?


Who is your favorite singer?

I once heard an echo of someone singing inside my bathroom after I sang inside the same bathroom, I like his voice.

Do you like reality TV?


Do you think a movie or restaurant makes for a better first date?

There are no rape jokes here. Never have and never will. You should take your first date to movie then a restaurant and get the best out of both world. You can find no reference about rape here. No, just no.

Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?

Vampire gets all the pussy since Dracula, what do you say?

Can you keep a secret?

No, I cant. I find that lots of what others think of as secrets are stupid mundane shit that don’t really affect anything so I always let it all out, that is unless if the secret is me wanting to surprise you by kicking your ass. Letting that out won’t be surprising anymore, will it?

Are you a morning person or a night person?

Society wants you to be a morning person because of some darn stupid rule that was set like a thousand years ago because they don’t have electricity. I hate that rule so night person.

What makes you feel the happiest?

When I have a good masturbating session. It doesn’t come easy after you grew up and have done it a million times already.

And that’s all! I want to thank myself for this interview because formspring’s questions suck.

Here is my formspring account.