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In order to understand the state of my mental health and how happy I am, you need to understand that writing is the valve I let loose when I am lost. The entire reason why I didn’t even post a single thing last year is because I am very contented with life. Of course, having a 8 to 6 job drastically cut down on my free time. Adding to that, having an active online presence that can be used against me is not beneficial in my line of field. However, I used my free time lazing around instead of writing because I have nothing I want to say. I still watch and read anime and manga but not a lot of them can squeeze out more than a few 280 words tweet from me. What can I say that haven’t been said already? More importantly, I don’t feel the need to satiate the void that I used to feel via writing.

My biggest fear in life -that thing that lingers on unassumingly- is the feeling that I will be lost once again, where the darkness and paralysis will strike when I least expected it.

This is why now I am recording these down, to remind myself how I got here and how for almost 2 years, I have lived with a sense of purpose without the plague of existential crisis lingering on my mind. It’s as if the past few years pre 2017 were a joke. However, I know that’s not a figment of my imagination, the sense of existential crisis was real and the reason why I am not proactive on somethings even now is due to the repurcussions of my lowest point. I want to avoid the risk of falling back into the hole again. The feeling of thinking I am a piece of shit still can’t be shaken off. The core has not changed, it just that I owned it more now with other external validations taming the feeling.

Anyway, Maquia, Dragon Ball Super Broly, Asobi Asobase are definitely the top anime I have seen this year. Alliance Alive, The Missing and The World Ends With You are the top contenders for game of the year.

Best movie I am still undecided because my input are a lot less than previous years.

Top manga that I completed in 2018 go to Kasane, Yondemasuyo Azazel, Machida no Sekai, I Sold My Life for Ten Thousand Yen per Year, Hengoku no Schwester and Prison School if the ending was not so disappointing.



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