You are currently browsing Holydreams’s articles.

After rewatching Manabi Straight’s first episode, I cannot help but to recall my time in the student council in secondary school.

Which led to my question : Why do people join the student council? I highly doubt people would join to ‘improve the students’ lives in school’ or anything ‘noble’ along that line.

In primary school, my guess is that teachers choose the ‘promising’ students, usually those who have at least above average grades and good conduct. Then they would choose the head council to be the one who they deemed to have the strongest leadership capability. Usually that guy who is smart and has leadership role already in CCA.

They did not choose the council life, the council life chose them.

In secondary school, it was a similar process – teachers tend to recommend lower secondary students with good grades and conduct to be a councillor. Of course, secondary one students were free to apply too.  Now, my guess for people who applied were people who were shrewd, or at least their parents were. Being on the student council may seem decent on the list of achievement certificate that you receive after you graduate, but being part of the main committee will be an icing on the cake.

So, how does one become part of the main committee? In my school, it was being handpicked by the outgoing main committee and submitted for approval to the teacher-in-charge. This is the main issue I have regarding my secondary school’s council. A bunch of 15-16 year old kids choosing the next batch of ‘leaders’, what could go wrong?

Plenty. Kids are easy suckers. Just act cozy with them and pretend to ‘lead’ a bunch of your fellow students and the incumbent leaders will think you are a perfect candidate. Silent, hardworking students are not given the credit they deserve, as they are working out of sight most of the time. Then these ‘future leaders’ will swoop in in the last moment when the incumbent make their rounds and claim full credit. These incumbent will hence hold high opinion of these people, and these opinions are easily ingrained into their minds, and any simple task done by these ‘leaders’ would result in a positive reinforcement on the incumbents’ opinions. This is helped by how these ‘leaders’ tend to act all friendly with the incumbent all the time, making their presence known all the time.

4 months in with 3 major school activities, I came to know who the real workers and fakers are. It was also nearing the day when the incumbent step down for the incoming batch of new ‘leaders’. I tend to report to the council room early for duty, and that was when I overheard the discussion between the incumbent who they were going to choose for the next batch of committee members. The usual ‘fakers’ names were thrown around, mentioning how they were valuable assets, while the hardworking people were briefly mentioned with “hmm? I don’t remember that guy doing anything at all.” A few more days of such conversations, I decided that the student council was a fucked up place to be in. I quit a few days prior to the change of committee ceremony after a brief ‘conversation’ with the teacher-in-charge (wow I still remember how he looked at me like I’m a retard or something).

This experience taught me how important it is to have connections. And also, to be wary of overly friendly people, or people who approach you to leech benefits. This combination led me to have less than a handful of new friends made during secondary school and zero thereafter. Which means no new connections made, which defeat the purpose of the lesson learnt.

By this time, I have no idea what I am ranting about, other than how salty I am with such people. I felt that I have given up on doing my best during that period of time, since there is no point of giving your all and not having anybody appreciating you for your effort, or worse, somebody else being appreciated for your efforts.

But then again the world is like this. This shit still happens everywhere. That is why I think I will not survive well in such a world. I lack the street-smart,  nor do I have eloquent social skills.

In the end, I guess it is just me being insecure and emo as usual, and ranting incoherent ramble which I find it uncomfortable to talk to others about yet find it acceptable to post in on the web.



I am an introvert. I hate being in situations where I will need to interact with another human being. I hate big parties. I have no idea why would people enjoy being together with a bunch of strangers just to celebrate their birthday.

I hate school. Not due to academic reasons, but social. It is clear that people approach the ‘elites’ so they can suck off them by copying homework, getting help with tutorials and tests. But are they friends? The lonely scholar considers them as friends, while the popular scholar sees them as ‘acquaintances-with-potential-benefits’.

To be honest, I have no idea what the above two paragraphs are supposed to be about.

As much as I hate interaction between humans, I am fortunate enough to have at least some friends. Frankly, I am surprised that I have friends… at least I deem them to be my friends and hopefully this friendship is mutual. Though I could count the number of people with both of my hands.

So what are friends? I do not know. But I do know I need them. I tend to feel negative and lonely easily, and I will always send random messages to my friends to save myself from the negative spiral of negative emotions I am always falling into. I am usually satisfied even with just a few sentences of conversation.

^wow I sound like some depressed fuck. Maybe I am, who knows.

Not sure if it is weird, but most of my friends are from my primary school days. The total number of friends I made since then could be counted with just a hand. And I think I will lose interaction with them sooner or later too.

And the amazing thing was that I had a girlfriend of four years. I have no idea how or why but she was willing to hang out with me. In the end we broke up, mainly due to me as I handled the conflict between her and my parents very poorly. I still regret it up to this day, thinking what would happen if I handled it differently every night.

After a few months, I then began to think, am I missing her, or am I missing the relationship? Would I forget about her if I were to enter another relationship? Or was it her that made the relationship special? I doubt I would ever know, for I doubt I would ever be able to have a fresh start once more, given my personality.

Then I thought about my friends. I am also amazed that I have friends, considering that I committed hideous acts to some of them in school. Are they my friends because they are them (as a person), or because of the interactions that we have? You can say that it is the person who does the acts, but the acts are also dependent on the person (No idea what this suppose to mean). And I think this is getting too philosophical.

But I am eternally grateful to my friends. I doubt anybody I know would read this anyway (other than the master of this page), but I thank them from the bottom of my heart. My actions may not reflect so, but I do appreciate being with them.

I suppose this is just a random rant by an incoherent drunk author with a poor command of the English language. Feel free to delete this post if you want to.

Ah. So I have had just watched finish this girl-wanna-be-boy and girl-wanna-be-boy series. Left quite a few impressions on me, this show.

1. There is an overhead bridge where, somehow, plenty of events take place there. Now, the scenes there usually are quite lengthy, but the background ain’t as static as most other animes usually have. The cars actually move! I mean, they follow a proper traffic system for a full 5 minutes. Now that is something I have not seen in other shows.

2. The very first line. “What are little girls made up of?” And subsequently in the middle, “What are little boys made up of?”. These may seem cheeky, but that is what the main character, Nitori, seems to be confused about, and is searching an answer for. Or not. I’m not a mind reader.

3. Are kids really that outgoing nowadays? Maybe, considering the pre-martial pregnancies rate has been shooting up… But seriously, wtf? Friends with someone who rejected you during 6th grade, and someone you rejected not long after, and going out with a girl a year older at 7th grade. Jealousy over romance and ex-romance. Seriously? These kids have more life than I do man.

4. No tsunderes. Slight tsundere characteristic but no pure out-and-out-I’m-a-tsundere character. At least part of my nerves ain’t wrecked trying to bear with the tsundere girls.

5. Seriously, what is the problem with society at large being okay with girls wearing boys clothing but not the other way round? Not that I’m fine with it, I’m also way against boys wearing girls clothing, but what is the reason behind it? Society stigma? Then why are girls fine then? And yes to be honest I do not mind. Or is this just a mindset ingrained upon our society and daily lifestyles?

6. For the second consecutive anime (previous being Kure-nai) going, they mentioned about a particular food, which is some muffin like stuff eaten with jam. Forgotten the name, but it does make me hungry.

That’s more or less what I remembered. May have more, but oh well, I have pretty much lost my language capabilities after not using them for nearly 9 months.

IF bantering and pure criticism are deemed as non-constructive comments, then what about boot-licking and comments solely stating the usual positive stuffs? Read the rest of this entry »

Bwahahahahaahahahahaha. Brow fetish! Knee fetish! Whats next? I’m guessing stomach fetish soon!

Ok I’m pretty sure everyone knows I suck in doing any reviews.So this won’t be a review of any sort.

Just a post stating I’ve completed Gintama, that’s all. Read the rest of this entry »

And that anime is : Ga-rei zero. Prequel of the manga series Ga-rei. Read the rest of this entry »

I conclude that I have a ponytail fetish.

Then again, it’s troublesome to maintain a long (about till slightly above waist length) hair, as far as I know. And costly too.

To test out a theory I read in a book, so whoever did read this please kindly answer, thanks.

Which one of the following is more likely to happen?

1. A flood somewhere in America killing over a thousand lives.
2. An earthquake in California, resulting in a flood, killing over a thousand lives.

I’ll post the reason after sufficient answers have been collected. (I think that is about 5 at the very most I’ll have I guess.

Edit : If you don’t know how to leave a comment, just click the “LEAVE A COMMENT” above. under “Just a Question”

I’ve finished Season 3 today, after 8 months since I started on episode 1.

I don’t think I’ll post much about the show here, but more of my thinking and feelings after watching it. Read the rest of this entry »


Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

RSS My MyAnimeList



  • 98,951 hits