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My mal says that I spend 56 days on anime with 380 completed series and people are telling me how I am spending too much time on anime and don’t have a life. Now take out your calculator and do the maths to see if that’s true or not.

I got my broadband in 2007 so technically, I have only been watching anime for 4 years even though I did watch anime before on TV but those only added up to at most 20 completed series and dozen others non completed one that I don’t bother listing such as Godannar ( to think that I am so near to completion for it except for a few episodes. I have no desire to rewatch the whole series to find which one I missed though.)

So I completed 360 anime in 4 years and spend let say, 53 days on anime. Out of this 1460 days, let say I spend an average of 8hours sleeping per day so technically, I am awake for only 973 days. I spent another 1460 hours in school, having social life and fucking mother bitches since the age of 10, so you can say I spend about 53/913 days on anime in my free time which is 5% of my 4 years life. 5 %! In other words, I spend 95% of my life without touching anime! That’s lesser time than I used for studying! Which is kinda pathetic when I think of it.

So what’s the conclusion? The conclusion is that I have a life! Let’s not dwell on too much on how I spend the rest of the 95% because I couldn’t believe that jerking off can take so much time.

Also, don’t dwell on too much on how I can complete 100 more anime than you even though you spend like 20 days more on anime than me. I don’t want to let the secret of me stuffing my list with shit like hentai, 1 min specials, 1 min ova and such to be known.

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I am about to recount a story of horror and fear, where truth will befall and the world will crumble.

Recently, I have been doing a lot of research on Piccolo but I dug too deep and went too far. I found the truth of the world and how Dragonball came before the Bible.

Now some crash courses. Akira is the boy who gained god like psychic powers while Toriyama is a bird mountain where bird humans reside during the proto-culture.  Sum up these two sacred names and you will get Akira Toriyama, the author of Dragonball. Coincidence? I don’t think so. From these clues, anybody can conclude that Akira Toriyama is the real descendant of sacred beings and held the ultimate prophecy in the form of cartoon drawing.

Now, let’s go in deeper. We all know that the Namekians don’t have a penis but do we really know the reason why? From my years of research where I held Akira Toriyama on custody from rapid haters and allowed him to explain to me the true meaning behind all the plot holes, I finally know the reason but I regretted as it nearly drove me towards insanity. However, being the one who knows the truth, I have to tell the world at large about the horrible origin of life relating to Piccolo.

The universe we are living in now is actually the continuity of the universe of Dragonball. 10000 years before the universe of Dragonball where Goku was born, the ancestor of Namekians, having the ability of god and the power of know it all knew that destruction will soon come. To minimize the sure to come catastrophe, they took some extreme measures and pass it down to their descendants.

Fast forward it to 10000 years later and we see Trunk  used the time machine to cross through time spaces. As we all know from Dragonball, every time frame has their own alternate dimension, this is why future events will not change even if you tried changing the past. In other words,a  new dimension will be created every time you use the time machine.However,little to we know that this simple theory leads the whole civilization of Dragonball towards destruction.

One day, Trunk took the time machine back to the past. During his journey, his bladder was full but there are no toilets inside the time machine. Unbearable, he zip off his pants and stand outside his time machine for a pee while it travels. At the same time, the time machine just happen to cross the boundary of the dimension to the next alternate dimension,  resulting in the pee crossing over two different dimensions.

How can one pee exist in two different dimensions while being the same pee? What will happen when one sane pee crosses between the dimension resulting in to half a pee in this dimension while the other half in another one?  That’s right, destruction came because one pee cannot be separated into two dimensions.

Floods and meteorites came down to earth and the extreme measures done by the ancestor of Namekian are finally brought to life. The detail of the extreme measure is that the ancestor of Namekians cut off their penises, resulting in their descendants having no penises. Why did they do that you asked? Now, we all know that penis is full of sperm because the primary function of a penis is to transfer them. We also know that Namekians can spit out eggs whenever they want. So what if we poke holes to the penis and the Namekians blew eggs into it? Ah ha, the eggs and sperms will merge and form embryo. These formations of embryos will result in babies. When embryos are form and babies are born, it will form a wondrous shrieking sound that will minimize the catastrophe caused by Trunk’s pee like how Peruvian music make huge hamsters go to sleep. These penises are of course what you called Piccolo.

When the catastrophe strikes, all the Namekians held up the penises passed down by their ancestors. They blew them for days after days until all the  catastrophe went to a halt. They blew it so hard, the Piccolo turned brown. After 9 years of doing these blow jobs non stop, the universe was finally safe but every beings were killed by the catastrophe. The Namekians fell as well and everybody die.

Then the dinosaurs came and died, the ice age came and went and it’s now our time where the only things left behind during the Dragonball universe were the Piccolos from billions of years ago. Archaeologist, Jackie Chan found the left behind Piccolos somewhere near Italy and the rest is history. Many years after that, the sacred beings, Akira Toriyma was born and wrote  the facts and concepts of Piccolo and Namekians in the form of cartoon drawing. People are blinded by the plot holes and failed to see the real messages of truth and life behind it until I was born to decipher it. So now here I am, sharing these scary truths about life to all you readers out there because I was born with this task of forcing bulls to have their bowel movements so people will be educated and understand the real origin of life via well researched scientific facts.

So,who am I? I am CEK, Christophroical Egerian Kendeyrrial.

This is a magnified view inside a Piccolo.

Magical Lyrical Nanoha is science.

3. Magical Lyrical Nanoha (All 3 Seasons)

Magical Lyrical Nanoha is a deep introspection of the psyche of 30 years old men and 12 years old girls. The vibrant friendship , borderline romance between the female characters gave us an interesting insight of gender roles and causes serious contemplation about homosexuality . It touches on lots of strong theme such as the future of war machineries and talked about how hyper radioactive laser may causes mass destruction . However , the best message it can offer is definitely the idea of transformation . Using complex algorithm , this anime showed us that transformation just might be possible  in near future by showing us the  key to it , which of course lies in nudity during said transformation .

Shakugan no Shana is life.

2.Shakugan no Shana

Life is like a flickering flame , one day you are here , another you are worm’s food . Shakugan no Shana spreads the truth about the after life and is bold and imaginative enough to back up on such unknown theory. However , the best thing for Shakugan no Shana is the well researched human interaction. Shakugan no Shana goes in deep by using 48 episodes to show us the interactions between cretins and how the fought the internal darkness in their heart . It’s a epic lore of introspection , retrospection and anything -spection . One of the must see for your theory research on human life and human connections with one another.

Lucky Star is Jesus Christ .

1.Lucky Star

Lucky Star is a social commentary on the desperate issues of shut in and escapism in Japan. It showed us the horror  by realistically portraying the victims of said issues and gave us lost of viable intelligent solutions to eradicate the problems. However , not all is grim and nasty because in life , hope and optimism still exist.

With 5 years of scrutinies  , Lucky Star managed to come up with the brilliant plan to give hope and smile for the depressed shut ins and escapists . First , they cure the erectile dysfunction of the depressed by carefully planning out innocent looking erotica imageries to stimulate the facilitation of  sperms and penile erection which is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular and endocrine factors, and is usually, though not exclusively, associated with sexual arousal.

Secondly , they planned up what seems to be a cutesy musical dance but is actually the deconstruction of the psyche of shut in where they fought battles with imaginary reptile miscreations. Each movement of the dance is actually a hint on how to  oppugn these unreal monsters . Thanks to this dance , shut ins and escapists will tergiverse no more and become a better man . Lucky Star is the saviour , the hope for all man kind.

The End.

It has been long since I did this because I am always correct with my speculation so that’s no fun in doing this. My speculations are always correct because I forced myself to enjoy series that I anticipated  . In other words , the hype and expectation heighten my mood which allows me to give more leeway to flawed series because I cannot back down from  my speculations . With that , I thought to myself , if I anticipate every series out there , will every series turn great because I will forced myself to  look only at their good? So , coupled with my quest to be very optimistic with anime , I decided to give the most bias , most hyperactive and most positive preview out there. Without further ado , let’s go to chartfag.com and steal his chart.

High School Of Dead: When is the last time you ever heard a zombie anime? From what I could recall , I have only heard of Zombie Loan and if I dig it down further , those awesome 80’s ova with ridiculous plot . With such conventional yet a fresh idea for anime , a new onslaught of discussion of the portrayal of Japanese animated will emerge , hence causing lots of enthusiasm and buzz resulting in a lively blogsphere with interesting thoughts and analysis. I am sure you can compile a textbook by collecting all those beautiful blog pieces , all thanks to this ingenious High School Of Dead.

10/10 Lovely penises awesomeness.

Sekimastu Occult Gakuin: Anime always bears the guilt of promoting misogyny,  however from the lovely poster , we see a girl sitting on a boy! Praise the lord , the Japanese finally love women again . With such an educational series on the upset of the gender balance and giving praise to the almighty woman race ,this will surely become a masterpiece. The rich plot and the subvert of gender balance may as well be yet again compile in a textbook named “Anime Eradicates Misogyny”. I am sure hoard of feminists will be glad to buy it and results in a sudden surge in economy. With such glamorous endeavour in mind , this anime will definitely be a masterpiece.

10/10 THUMBS UP!

Sengoku Basara 2: Sengoku Basara is the hope for game to anime adaptation . It is one of the most well loved anime by the female fans because of its awesome message – girls can treat boys as sexual objects too!

10/10 Analytical analysis on Boy to Boy Love

Shiki: From the author of  epic such as Ghost Hunt and 12 Kingdoms coupled with the fact that it will be air on the noitamA time slot , a rich and mature series is bound to be presented. With an experienced Studio , Daume who made classics  such as DearS and Yoake Mae yori Ruriiro na , we are sure to be able to get into more cabbage  discussion with Shiki . Whole new awesomeness is waiting for us , let’s get on board and watch Shiki!

10/10 Real anticipation

Kuroshijitsu 2: The masterpiece which capture the hearts of thousand of fangirls even though it is serialised in a Shonen Magazine . With such out reaching hand , it just means that it is enriched with the goodness of both gender. God is fair to give half of each gender hormones to this series , isn’t that something to be GAY about! Let’s rejoice , toast and anticipate on Kuroshijitsu 2.

10/10 things for we to be gay about.

Mitsudomoe: Remember Chris Handley? If he used this series to stimulate himself , he won’t go to jail! This is the god given series to everyone who loved children ! Let’s thank Japan , our god for this beautiful gift . Thank you!

10/10 Children got raped cared thanks to this series.

Amagami SS: “Fantasize , fantasise and I will grant you your wish” , with such wise word said by wise man , we should abide to it and watch wish fulfilment series such as this. Life is hard and cruel , what’s wrong with fantasizing using wish fulfilment material? NO , nothing is wrong! Enjoy and embrace such material otherwise your wish might not even be fulfilled at all .  Delusional fulfilment is better than nothing , so let’s thanks such work for granting our fantasy .

10/10 I actually might like this series.

The Legend Of The Legendary Heroes: All good things have legend and heroes in their title , no doubt , this one will definitely be a legendary legend together with Legend Of The Galactic Heroes.

10/10 Legend being made!

Okami San To Shichinin no Nakamatachi: Remember Okami Kakushi , the awesome series that teaches and explores the issue of sex and culture through allegory. Remember Toradora? The wholesome family drama in which everyone loves and adores because it is so Toradorable? Having similarities with two such awesome series , this , will bound to be the next epic.

10/10 Friend isn’t enough  to describe us , we are NAKAMA DA!

Last but not least

Osaka Hamlet: Osaka version of the epic Shakespeare’s play which explores taboo such as the love for older women with a father fixation  , bravo , bravo!

10/10 Yea , baby , yeaaaa!

With that , I will end my summer preview . Thanks for reading and bye .

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/in_the_heartlands/345174/thanks_for_giving_up_seat_for_my_pregnant_wife_stomper_says.html

STOMPer sharperner is grateful towards this gentleman who gave up his seat for his pregnant wife, even though his friends laughed at him for doing so.

The STOMPer said:

“I was taking bus service 56 back home with my pregnant wife.

“The bus was crowded.

“This kind gentleman gave up his seat for my heavily pregnant wife.

“His friends laughed at him but he remained cool.

“May god bless this kind gentleman for his chivalrous act.

That is our snakey there and man! His friends are pretty bastard eh? Laugh at his kindness act like some evil Satan reincarnation . They are so evil , if you say that they aren’t serial killers I won’t believe you . Haizz , teenagers nowadays , so evil and stupid . Stupid  asshole teenagers.

Oh and his bastard friend(s) is me of course.

This is the profile page for famed director of Dark Love and Princess 69 Midnight Gymnastic in My Anime List . People who pay attention in their Contemporary Japanese  Literature class will know why this page is a comedy gold.

Haha , Sacred Blacksmith although being a rubbish series can be very funny at times . I am finding myself laughing out loud more than when I watch some lukewarm comedy like err I don’t know , Seitokai? Nay , Seitokai isn’t funny at all .

NANI!  MY SPIRIT BOMB MISSED? WHY!? Because spirit bomb don’t hit good guy! That’s why!

Oh and that old guy vomited some blood and walk off after that. For what did he go there then? I don’t know .

Everyone is dead! AHHH everyone is dead! My bulging penis is all useless now because everyone is dead!! AHHHHH! To think that I practice abstinence for 3 years.
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Everyone has different taste , but to differentiate your taste with others so to appear to be more superior in watching cartoon , the top 5 list is the most important aspect. So how to construct an awesome top 5 list then?

Easy , firstly , in order to showcase your unique taste and how you are more superior in watching  better  anime than others , all your top 5 must be series that no one fucking heard of . This added to the effect of you having the best taste because you know and appreciate unknown and underrated series . People will also get intimidate by it because the unknown factor is the biggest weapon against veteran anime fan that can sprout off names of 1000 over series . Not only that , unknown series means that noob won’t have a chance of watching it , in other words , you won’t be grouped together with a noob . It is safe as well because people can’t critic and expose your lie because most likely , they themselves have not heard or seen any of those unknown show in the first place.

Now you know that , you need to go through the process of elimination . Popular series like TTGL , Eden Of The East , GITS and FMP isn’t applicable anymore because a lot of noob and narutard like those as well. Not to mention , the usual top 5 contender like Haibane Renmei , LOGH and Mushishi shouldn’t be inside as well . This is to again , showcase your awesome taste which is suppose to be superior than your usual anime fanboy .

The second round of elimination is that the series shouldn’t have your usual trope/fare/whatever , that’s why any hindsight of moe , shonen fighting and harem should also be eliminate . But hey , every series has some usual trope! That’s why you need to pick a series that no one heard of! With that , no one will know whether that series you choose contains any trope of whatever . Hence , something like Romeo no Aoi Sora will work greatly.

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To fight Gozilla .

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Man ! Tatoeba is the best Japanese word.

Ps: Can anyone help me make a clean animated gif of that segment without any sub with bluray quality?

IWICSYI

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