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I am sure technology people starts off with their invention by asking themselves how to enjoy porn effectively. If that’s not the case, then I should start questioning myself because my first step in unlocking the true potential of devices I owned is always porn related.

I am serious when I say that the only reason I purchased an Android phone over an iPhone is because Android has better porn compatibility. It supports flash which many pornsites use and it has better 3rd video player that allows more compatibility with media playback. 720p with clear ass vagina and subtitles of moaning? No problem!

Then recently I learned how to stream media from pc to my android phone, all because I don’t want to transfer porn and hog up memory space. Now I can watch my porn more discreetly and save time transferring 1gb porn. Nowadays porn is going HD and Bluray so shit is humongous.

Password protected file and hidden file on Window 7? Definitely would not learn any of that without porn.

I also have no idea how masterful I am with shit like system restore, reg edit, harddisk partitioning and system formatting – functions and skills a normal person might never ever need/used –  thanks to those viruses I got from pornsites that fucked my computers up with porn popups. What’s with porn popups anyway? I thought popup is supposed to be bad?

Porn teaches me lessons on how to deal with virus. I would never have virus if not for porn. That USB flash memory hogging porn virus sure teaches me how to turnoff autorun for my usb flash drive, fucker.

After all those nightmare of dealing with virus, I learned how to discern legit sites over malware’s one. Tell me this, how in the hell would you venture outside safe sites if not for porn? You won’t, that’s what.

Then I also dabble with homebrew for my devices thanks to good porn app. Porn is why my PS3 and PSP are jailbroken. This is especially true when all my computers broke down and I have to rely on my PS3 for web browsing. Jailbreaking PS3 sure teaches me lots of techy shit that I would never need. Cryptography, primary-private keys, random numbers, ECDSA Algorithm, Wii/PS3/Xbox 360 security systems, decrypting, encrypting, content obfuscation, linux and all that jest.

Also, if not for porn, why would I want to learn how to convert video files into dpg and transfer it into my NDS with moonshell running? Why even install moonshell in the first place? What the hell is dpg anyway? I would definitely not heard of the dpg format if not for the desire of dual screens porn.

I heard 3DS has 3D video capability. Now we just need a hacker who wants their 3D porn bad enough to hack the shit out of it. I sure can learn more about flash cart and 3DS security system.

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It is obvious from the start that Germany is going to lose . What’s with the 70% possession from Spain for the first 15 min and pathetic attacks from Germany . Even though Klose is a good striker , we all know that he can’t break through the defence wall without any assist and that’s where the 5 midfielders come in. But then Podolski looks like he is living in his own world , always out running passes and generally running to spaces where ball can’t reach while Muller is on the bench .

On the other hand , Spain is clever with their tactics ; they disrupted the pacing of Germany by going slow and played possession football  for the first 10 or so minute right after the game started. Imagine your ball got snatched away just after your first pass and didn’t get the chance of touching it  for 10 whole minutes ; your pacing will be disrupt for sure as you  lost 10 minutes of warming up with the ball . This effect is obvious ; Germany have shaky controls when they have the possession while Spain can pull off solid runs and passes. However , there is a chance of gaining back the momentum for Germany during the fifth minute or so . Too bad , a crazy guy ran into the field and stop the flow of the game .

Even though the whole game was controlled by Spain with waves of closing in and possession , they have a hard time scoring . Their only goal was from a corner kick  . Why? Germany defence is as hard as a rock and Neuer , the keeper was on form( must be due to the fact that he is the only one with more than 5 second of possession time in Germany due to so many attacks from Spain) . Tons of attacks inside the penalty box were nullified  by amazing play from the defenders but sadly , the forward can’t even pull off a pass without losing the ball to the opponent in the next second. Not to mention , what’s with the long passes and the obsession with aerial plays from Germany when no one is in reach or fast enough to run through Spain defence?

To be honest , I got bored with it after 60 minutes because it was a boring game . One side , you have attacks which got blocked down 3/4 of the time and on another side , great defence and nothing else . It is clear that this won’t be a game with high scores and lop sided attack with low score count isn’t fun to watch.

Next game will be Netherlands vs Spain . From the semi final performances , Spain seems to be having a upper hand and better form so most likely it will be a predictable match . I can’t really get my anticipation level up now since I am indifferent for both teams . Then again ,  I will go for Netherlands because they will most likely lose ; supporting the weaker team when teams I truly support have lost is my principal.

For your information , I support two teams , Mexico as underdog and Germany as giant . Too bad , sometimes I am such a jinx where team I support will never win . I remember I ignored Champion League and Bayern Munich got into the semi-final . Then when I got serious and followed it , they lost.

Woah , this must be the first time I have ever been so fast in catching up with a game. I am only 1 year late! Regardless , being hyped up by the World Cup yet couldn’t be arse enough to follow the live matches due to the lack of means , I decided to play PES 2010 on a whim just to get the feel of football hype again. First thing first , football is a wonderful sport because you just need a ball to play with , of course , same goes for basketball or any other sport but football doesn’t need a prefixed hoop or limited venue to enjoy the same experience as the real thing, you may just need some slippers , twits or a void deck that ban black coloured man from playing football in order to play the game . These equipments and venues  are as accessible as the oxygen you are breathing in and this is why anyone , regardless of poor or rich could play and win a chance for a glamorous endeavour in the numerous world wide recognised competitions. There are just so many chances and dreams to fulfil out there compare to other sport .

Ban black coloured man with no facial features and unrealistic head from playing football.

So onto the gameplay for PES 2010.

Something is weird about this game , no , not the interfaces which I don’t give a damn about unlike so many others . The commentaries are then the weird one, now pes is the abbreviation of Pro Evolution Soccer but the commentators always called the sport as Football but not Soccer ! Why the difference in translation? Why is the game released for US but uses a British commentator?! Not to mention , I played the Window version which is like a carbon copy for the xbox360 version but the sponsor board on the field showed Sony Playstation! WTF is that?!

Now onto the real gameplay .

If you read my twitter , I complained about the sluggish gameplay and some of its problems such as the abolishment of the feint shot and the insensitive controls . Never mind about that because I complained about how Arsenal is too strong for  PES 5 , how there are no difference in gameplay for PES 6 and how PES2009 doesn’t even have Bayern Munchen as a team. In other words , those are just petty complains because I am outraged at how I can’t win a game in Top Player mode or get my players with 90 dribble to break through a 4 men wall by dashing forward like how I did it in previous version. Now that I could  get hold of the controls better and probably can use UAE to win Brazil at Top Players mode , I am enjoying this sluggish play because it add in to the realism . Not to mention , to accommodate with this realism , the scoring is easier now . I could easily score unintentional scores and get away with it but that’s not saying that the opponent team can’t do that as well . That’s all for the gameplay because other than the players being shittier now , especially when they are  low in form , there isn’t  many changes from the previous version .

Now , you can’t talk about PES without talking about FIFA . I am a PES fanboy since ISSPro Evolution . During that era , FIFA 2000 just couldn’t compete with ISS because FIFA plays like some kindergarten jokes . There is this formula in FIFA for you to score and you can easily hit a 10-0 by repeating this formula. Not to mention , the graphic sucks and the players move unrealistically unlike its superior counter part which is ISS Pro 4. With that , my last encounter with FIFA is FIFA 2003 or something and it just play the same so I just gave up on FIFA and enjoy my PES goodness which is the almighty PES 5. The shittiness of FIFA forever remains as a stigma and I never dare to touch it again so I couldn’t really make a comparison now .

There isn’t really a lot to talk about and with the commence of PES2011 this October , this post is pretty useless since there isn’t any more things to add-on to the PES2010 discussion.

Nevertheless ,to end off , I will like to use the amazing statement from ISS Pro Evolution Ending Credit:

Don’t you think that football is one of the greatest languages? Because once you kick a ball , you can communicate with anybody , anywhere in the world!

Except for USA .

Let’s talk about technology today . It is embarrassing that an IT student like me doesn’t know any of these new techy gadgets. Believe it or not , I thought iPad is a menstrual pad that stimulate the “I” in you when it was first release. If you really believe that then you are a retard. Nevertheless , I don’t really care to read or keep up with all these gadgets because it is a waste of time . Being able to sprout off the newest processor or gadget isn’t a feat because anyone can do that by googling for 5 minute. Not to mention , I am not interested in them because they serve no purpose to me . I do agree that being able to play some iphone games are cool when you aren’t at home but the problem is I am always fucking at home . So why should I play those games when I can find more enjoyment by burning through all those novels and manga that are collecting dust?

Also , the world of technology is progressing too fast , new gadgets are  coming out every few months and things get dull and old very fast. Keeping up with an ever-changing world which I am apathetic about in the first place isn’t my kind of thing . It is like keeping up with local news . If you don’t know yet , reading news on my local newspaper is  insulting because it contains lots of useless and something misleading information that doesn’t affect anything. Seriously I am not interested in some sex scandal or girls jumping off building just because her boyfriend dumped her so I don’t make it a point to read any local newspaper .

I digress but to conclude , I will say that the only techy thing which I truly care about is computer because it is a necessity , a necessity for masturbation.

IWICSYI

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