People are embarrassed in talking about penis, this will not matter if there aren’t things that you must know about it . However, people are so hush hush about it that it’s not surprising to find people who have no basic ideas on some of the common problem with it One search on google and you will retrieve tons of result of uncircumcised dude not knowing that you must retract the foreskin of your penis in order to clean it. God damn it! I am one of them and didn’t start trying to pull back my foreskin until I was like 20. Can you imagine that? 20 years of accumulated smegma and dry pee. The fucking horror.

After reaching twenty, I tell myself that there might be a random chance that I have to have sex so I must be prepared to make sure my penis works. I also heard from my friend on how he circumcised his penis after noticing that his bro’s penis is retractable but not his. That’s also the first time I heard that your penis should be easily retractable. ‘

I remembered back in the day when I am this stupid ass 5 years old kid, my papa told me to pull back my foreskin when I shower, it’s a good advice but pulling the skin back is so tough and nauseating. The penis gland fucking stings and hurts a lot. I tried it throughout my life but totally gave up on it. I didn’t really care too much about it because I could masturbate easily and it’s not affecting my life.

I started playing with my penis since I was 5 years old. I don’t even know why I did that, I think I just overheard from someone that it feels good to play with your penis. I don’t even know anything about sex or whatever but I instinctively know that playing with your penis is something very dirty, that’s why I always do it discreetly.

Here comes the 1st problem! I am doing it wrong all the fucking time! I wear my shorts and just hump my pillow until it feels good. This will result in deformed penis and tons of complications. It will also aggravated your tight foreskin issue.

Anyway, no juice will come out until you are around 11 or 12. The first time I felt juice coming out, I thought it was pee because I just shoot in my pants without really caring about it. Then one day, I got adventurous after watching tons of porn( I watched tons of porn but didn’t realize that sex is putting your penis inside vagina until I was 14 when my friend told me so) I start getting naked and hump my pillow. To my fucking horror, gross white pee starts shooting out.OMG! My first thought is that I got STD! I am so afraid of masturbating after that but temptation kept winning over me and I just leave it to fate if I really got STD. It’s not until I was 14 years old that I realize that maybe this shit is normal. From 12 to 14, 2 years of living in ignorance and fear.

I did the humping shit until I was around 14 years old. I always thought that using hand is too gross, I was so pure back then but once you tried the hand, you can’t go back to humping pillow. Too bad, even though I used my hand, I still do it while wearing briefs. This further aggravate my problem of not pulling my foreskin back and makes it tighter. I didn’t try dropping down my pants until I was 17 or so. Getting naked is too gross. I masturbate by rubbing my foreskin back and fore without pulling it at all, it works so whatever. I frequently still do it in brief though, easier to clean up and more discreet that way.

Then came the realization when I was 20 that I must really start pulling my foreskin back if I need to have normal sex. However, after years of bad masturbating techniques, I am doomed with a very tight foreskin that makes me faint when I tried pulling it back.I searched through the internet and start learning stuff about phimosis, paraphimosis(cannot roll foreskin back and start chocking your penis until it turns purple and die) and circumcision. Phimosis is very tight foreskin that doesn’t allow you to pull it back to your gland. I thought I had that because shit is really tight. I am so confused and afraid back then and considered the extreme in circumcision.

Luckily, there are enough good information on the internet so I didn’t do anything stupid. I did a lot of foreskin stretching and starts pulling back my foreskin bits by bits. It’s excruciating and painful because your penis gland has never been exposed to open air for 20 over years. I was vomiting and feeling nausea with cold sweat after successfully pulling it back to reveal half of my penis head. It’s a terrible experience and I cursed myself for not knowing these shit earlier. Luckily, I was manly enough to fight the nausea and did it everyday for almost a month. I also start masturbating without pants so I can stretch the foreskin.

After weeks of training, I finally could pull back half of my foreskin with some work. I tried to pull it over the whole gland but the skin rolls in weird way and I am afraid of paraphimosis so I didn’t push it for years and thought it was ok because my foreskin is too long or I have semi phimosis or whatever. I finally can clean off those damn white disgusting smegma and was happy about it. My gland is still raw and red and my corona(the penis gland rim) is still sensitive and stings as fuck but whatever, my foreskin won’t roll back to expose the corona if one day, some girl will suddenly give me a blowjob or put her vagina on my dick, or so I thought.

Then today, 16 December, 4hours ago, out of curiosity, I bought a tenga egg, a tenga onacup and an onahole to test them out because I read that they felt awesome and I wanted something better than hand. I felt like a fucking loser for buying these toys but the temptation is too frigging high! I anticipated this day for so long and stopped my fapping for a few days just to try out the supposing amazing experience.

Then I start putting my penis inside the tenga onacup and god damn it, I don’t feel any pleasure. It feels so ticklish and sometimes stings. It wasn’t so bad but I can’t ejaculate. I pulled it out and to my horror, my foreskin is fully retracted! My plan of not exposing my corona in case of magical, accidental sex did not work at all. Also, I am so used to masturbating with the foreskin, my gland is really raw and sensitive because I didn’t make any effort in desensitizing it. I always thought it was all right because it does not sting as much but I was naive.

After all this time, I always thought I had phimosis and my foreskin is too long and tight to be able to retract fully. Little did I know that I am perfectly fucking  normal in that my foreskin will automatically retract after insertion with enough lube. Now all my feeling of being a loser is gone, in fact I am so thankful that I found out my problem because I was shameless enough to try a sex toy. Imagine if I was with a woman that need me to have sex with her, how shitty of a first experience will that be when I found out that I can’t ejaculate even after hours of thrusting. Sex should be fun but I think this fantasy will be totally ruined if I didn’t realize my problem.

In order to remedy that, I worked really hard in playing with the onacup. Playing is the wrong word because I felt no pleasure. I was so bored and tired because I am just stroking my dicks for hours to desensitize my shitty penis gland. It’s not fun, I felt very bored and sometimes the penis stings. I am also afraid of paraphimosis so I kept checking if I could roll my foreskin back. Thankfully, my foreskin is not even that tight to cause paraphimosis. Even now, I am fully retracted for hours and I can roll back my foreskin easily so I don’t think paraphimosis will  ever occur. Now I am just letting the penis be fully retracted while wearing a brief over it and continues my normal life in hope that shit will finally not sting one day.

I lived in a conservative country so no one talks about penis and shit openly. This fucking suck because I would have learnt my lesson earlier on if people are more opened about it. I realize that you should really start teaching your kids about sex and masturbation at a younger age so they wouldn’t make mistakes like I did. I bet these little 5 years old buggers are playing with their penis without you knowing anyway so why not teach them the right way of doing it instead of being hush hush about it. All together, we should just embrace sex so it will not be embarrassing to talk about it. Children and adults alike could learn more and prevent complication by realizing what’s normal and what’s not.

Also, the stigma of sex toys  or men is fucking oppressing. I felt like a perverted loser for buying it because of what? Now that I think of it, I have no idea. I think people’s view will be because I am a desperate virgin that never kiss a girl. Personally I am not desperate at all because I couldn’t really care about building relationship, they are troublesome and I have other things to worry about. Not to mention, I don’t think a relationship is all about sex anyway. I find it disrespectful to equate relationship with a girl as losing virginity or sex. Even if I have sexual urge, it can be easily dealt with by masturbating. In fact, I think I really like masturbating not because I am desperate for sex but more of it being really fun to do, considering how I found it fun even when I knew nothing about sex. Now I am glad that I made the right choice so further down my life, I will not have any complication when sex is mandatory.

Internet has really helped a lot in eradicating ignorance. I learned a lot of great lessons from it. It’s also a forum for any niche shit that is out there but will never exist without internet. I am thankful in learning a lot of great lesson about penis and shit from the internet. You just can’t find any other source to learn about it casually because without the anonymity of the internet, everyone is too embarrassed to share.

There’s this interesting term “腋フォルダに” in the jap twitter/blog sphere. It basically means “going into the armpit folder” which jokingly means that “these pictures of sexy armpits are going into the fap folder on my computer”. Oh, the creativity of these Japanese internet dwellers with their internet lingos. Sometimes I am truly impressed.

I think people are starting to be more aware of the allure of underarms now. I remembered just 2 years ago, armpit fetishes on pornsites are pretty scarce but now? There are categories for that. The stigma of it being weird is starting to normalize with tons of tumblr sites dedicating to the pits popping up as well.

I never thought it was weird before because it was always there since the dawn of time. Pictures of models lifting their arms up are always the stable and the go to sexy pose in the magazines. People are already aware of that and are aroused by it but they just didn’t want to admit it and think it’s a weird fetish for some reason.

I think it’s just your usual irrational fears and obstacles human faced with the natural progression towards civilization. I believed that people once thought that fellatio was weird and dirty in the ancient civilization but they had since come to term with it and it became a very normal thing. Fellatio is pretty weird if you think about it, because, who will want to lick a things that pee came out from? However, history showed us that people accepted it and moved on. It’s getting more casual now and was thought to be a step before sex when it wasn’t in the good old day.

There are still work to be done with the stigma of the pits but nevertheless, I am pretty glad that supposed weird fetishism is gaining traction as it shows the sexual progressiveness of human kind. I think it’s all thanks to the internet where things that was once considered weird are now really very normal. Internet is the next logical evolution of Kama Sutra in determining what’s normal for sex. One day, people will come to the realization that a lot of weird things are not that weird after all.

Incest that is not rape or pedophilia but true love between two consenting party is not inherently wrong because there’s no good rationale behind why is it wrong. It’s very simple, can you give me a rationale reason why is it wrong? I personally cannot come out with anything beside personal repugnance or higher chance of passing lousy recessive genes to their offspring.

Personal repugnance is not a good argument because for example, I feel disgusted by snakes and large amount of tiny holes but they are really nothing wrong with them and they deserved every right to stay. If people like snakes or tiny holes then what rights to I have in meddling with them?

Incest don’t necessary produce deformed baby, there’s just a higher chance of getting one but that happens to everyone with terrible genes. It is wrong to stop people with terrible genes that may cause deformed baby to have sex and so is the same with those who love their sister. Sure, I understand there’s a biological reason for our disgust in incest and incest create genetic clones that doesn’t diversify and blah blah blah but homosexual can’t even produce babies and we have since understood that it’s not a really good argument because it’s not an issue that is even widespread enough to make it significant.

Seriously, what wrong with it? I don’t see anything wrong with incest anime. You can’t make a moral argument against it. Even if you argue that such a serious taboo topic should be handled with care, why the hell is it even a serious taboo topic in the first place when there’s nothing inherently wrong with it?

If there’s nothing wrong with it and it harms no one, I don’t see any reason why we really should condemn incest.

This is the recent post I made on facebook when a friend asked for anime recommendation. He is a casual fan who watched only a couple of popular shows, in other words, normal people. I did recommend him some of his favorite in the past and hint, none of the show I ever recommended him are in my top 10, except of KGNE, which is the dud where I learned that recommendation is not about listing favorite but a game of maximizing your batting average of pleasing someone:

My taste is so weird now that I am not confident enough to recommend something normal people would like but my go to choice for crowdpleaser are popular stuff like “Samurai Champloo”, “Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann”, “Full Metal Panic”, “Natsume Yujinchou“, “Rurouni Kenshin: Tsuiokuhen” and “Perfect Blue”.

“Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai”, “EF a Tales of Memories” and “Sakamichi no Apollon” were pretty good if you like stuff like Kanon 2006.

“Stein;Gate”, “Baccano” and “Tiger and Bunny” are something really popular that a lot of people like.

“One Out” and “Kaiji” if you like gambling/sport stuff.

“Cross Game” and “Hyouka” if you can stand something like Toradora.

These are all popular stuff I could think of that normal people should like. If you have no idea what to choose, “Ano hi Mita Hana No Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai” and “Sakamichi no Appollon” are things that I think you would like. They are pretty short, new, simple yet entertaining drama that work for many people.

Do I really think that Sakamichi no Apollon, Ef A Tales of Memories, Hyouka or Ano Hana are the best show in the universe? No, they ranked quite low in my own list but I recommend them because they are overwrought melodrama that works for many people. You can criticize their sledgehammer approach of manipulating emotion and their cheesiness, but normal people don’t really care because they are easily prone to these manipulation. People love the simple, hard hitting and sledgehammer approach way in story telling. What “show don’t tell”, what subtlety, what subversion, what depth, what new perspective, what implications and wrong messages? They don’t give a flying fuck. Proof? People love these shows and are fairly popular. KGNE on the other hand is way to polarizing, so protip, don’t recommend polarizing stuff like Book of Bantorra and KGNE.

If you look at your average anime viewers, they don’t really care so much about the quality of a work but more about if it’s enjoyable in their own terms. Their own terms include shonen and sometimes popular stuff  that you don’t understand like SAO and K-on. They also don’t read up on stuff so you would be surprise that they don’t know show like Mirai Nikki exist. So here’s my theory, beside the emotionally manipulative approach, most people love simple stuff that appears to have something smart or deep in them.

In order to qualify as a show with seemly depth and smartness, both of the qualities must be very pronounced, again with a sledgehammer approach. If they don’t get it, it must be shout in their face to create an illusion that it has those qualities, even they are really nothing underneath it ala Code Geass and Mirai Nikki.  I mentioned that because I found out that it doesn’t really matter if people don’t understand a show, they will still lap it up for some reason if you had create enough illusion of depth. I doubt many people could tell me what’s the point of Evangelion but normal people love it. This is further supported by how you have heard of things like “I don’t understand Inception, but it’s very good and clever!”. All these work because of  the shouting of “I have depth, I am smart” in people’s face till the extend that they really believe in it, regardless of whether it’s really there. This is very important because most people don’t grasp subtlety.

This is why I don’t recommend the really subtle or weird stuff like Haibane Renmei, Planetes and Mind Game because they have a weaker batting average of people liking it. Akira is very weird and kinda subtle as well so in fact, I won’t really recommend it because contrary to popular belief, normal people don’t really like it.

Recommend Code Geass over stuff like Haibane Renmei and Sword Art Online over Mind Game. Statistic has shown that more people get and enjoyed CG and SWO over Mind Game or Haibane Renmei. I also did some experiment and got really bad results with critics darling like Planetes and Wings of Honneamise and got unexpected result of people liking K-on, SWO, Mirai Nikki and Code Geass. If you think about it, what’s the point of recommending people stuff? It’s to tell them show that you think they would like instead of things you personally like. The end game of this all is really about maximizing batting average, not listing your favorite. Normal people much prefer explicit material than implicit stuff.

P.S: I am not judging the quality of any show, I am just telling you that you should recommend things that are not subtle, regardless of what you think of their quality.

Kokou no Hito is a manga adaptation of a Japanese novel by Nitta Jirou that journalize the mountain climbing exploit of a real Japanese hard ass mountain climber in the 30s named Kato Buntarou who have written essays of his solo climbing expedition that were used to adapt to the novel which then again got adapted to the manga by artist Sakamoto Shinichi with help from the adaption of the novel’s story by Nabeta Yoshiro even though Sakamoto Shinichi did the story after volume 4.

Yes, it’s a complicated web of multiple authors but Sakamoto Shinichi is our guy here because it’s ultimately his own story. He deviate a lot from the novel which took place in the 1930s and modernize it. I personally deduced that this complicated web of different authors explained the different in directions and focus the comic book took after the first few volumes.

The first few volumes acted like a shonen sport manga. Our hero Mori Buntarou(before he changed his name to Kato Buntarou), an anti social student with a mysterious past got inspired by a hard ass shonen hero’s rival and took up mountain climbing as a hobby. The story then introduced us with a passionate mentor and a likable innocent love interest that will act as the pivot of the love triangle between our hero and hard ass shonen hero’s rival. Not only that, it also introduced a mysterious bishonen rival that seems to be related to our hero’s dark past. It’s build up as a competitive adventure that will teach us valuable lessons on bonding and friendship through the sport of mountain climbing.

And……….. all of those got thrown away after the first few volumes. Our hard ass shonen hero’s rival became a con man and a worthless adult throughout the comic. The passionate mentor got a rock in his face and died. The love interest became a prostitute that stole our hero’s money because she is a bitch. Mysterious bishonen rival only appeared in 2 chapters and shown to be dead in the K2 mountain by the end. Our hero learned that he really enjoyed the solitude after all his buddies died during a dangerous expedition. Every time he tries to play the friendship game, it will hinder him and the only way he felt at home is by going solo without any friendship and bonding bullshit to bog him down. Most of the time when he meet new characters, they are awful human beings that are selfish little piece of shit that hinder his mountain climbing ambition.

Awesome.

If there’s a deconstruction of shonen manga, Kokou no Hito is the one. It’s an anti thesis of shonen sport manga. What you normally think that will build up as a hot blooded shonen plot, it will then subvert the shit out of it and tell you that this shit will never fly in real life.

In the end, the manga is not really about mountain climbing but a psychological analysis and character study of Mori/Kato Buntarou . It’s all about how an outcast with no other desire than mountain climbing live and feel. All the other side characters(that got thrown away like garbage) and mountain climbing stuff are tools to develop Buntarou as a character . You get lots of interesting metaphorical imagery to describe Buntarou as a human being.

Buntarou is an interesting characters and his story gave you a interesting perspective of a different lifestyle of solitude without condemning or approving that lifestyle . Normally, stories will tell you that bond is good while solitude is bad and even though Kokou no Hito does slightly adhere to that moral near end, it also says that solitude isn’t really that bad and bonding might not be that amazing either. In the end, you need a bit of both, be considerate to people around you while still living your life aloof.

I remembered this little embarrassing gem that’s Stu Levy’s America Greatest Otaku. I was livid and felt second hand embarrassment when I first watched it in 2011. Now I just find it hilarious.

Why the sudden change in attitude?

Because I don’t identify myself as an anime fan anymore. In fact, I don’t identify myself as anything. Years entrenched in different communities and I ended up realizing that I don’t really care about labeling myself. Self entitled labels of anime fans and otaku are just titles that hold no meaning. In fact, why even label yourself? Labeling is just putting yourself in a preconceived box and asking people to define what you are with a simple label.

I don’t want simple labels to define who I really am, I don’t wish that a single word could define my personality because I hope to believe that I am much more complex than that. That’s why I have a problem when people say with such pride that they are nerds, gamer, geek, anime freak or whatever. Why would anyone want some single word labels with tons of preconceived generic personality to define their life?

These includes all labels be it nationality, schools and whatever. No idea how people can have such pride just by belonging to some communities when the honors and hard work were all done by other people. On the other hand, you shouldn’t even feel embarrass if someone in your community did something stupid because your are still an individual and a community is not this hive mind bullshit where everyone is the same. At least I hope that’s the case.

Sure, I do join communities because you do need them for social reasons but I don’t really identify myself with them in the sense that I don’t categorize myself as a generic type that’s supposed to act this way in this supposed type of people belong in this community. Like minded friends are awesome but the world will be so boring if everyone in the community act and work in the same fucking way, so much so they can be categorized as types.

That may be the reason why I don’t really like the Mbti personality test, sure, maybe there are only so many  personalities that you can describe all of them with merely 16 different categories but I don’t wish to resign to that because that will mean that there can’t be a duality and inconsistency in personality. Duality and inconsistency are what make the world a bit crazier and more exciting to live in. What I am saying is that you need The Pandas Friend and Dennis Rodman in this world to make life more interesting. Hey, fuck it, in fact, I would like to believe everyone is a bit of everything so we are all inconsistent anyway. It’s not either extrovert or introvert. You can be both at different moments or even at the same time so MBTI is all bullshit.

Now that I think about it, I would only accept the labels of crazy and unpredictable because they aren’t really labels as you can’t define them well enough to fit them in a mold. YES! Everyone should think about an elephant heads with dicks as ears and no body part except of feet when they are bored. Or stories about DBZ’s piccolo penis acting as piccolo, the real music instrument, because it’s so obvious due to piccolo not having a dick and such. The world will be a better place that way.

Outlaw Star:

The first episode seems like fun. I like how it utilize live action cinematography namely the focusing in and out of a character. The animation is also top tier with fluid fights and gorgeous character designs. The characters visit prostitute and such so it’s quite interesting. I heard that the plot only happen in episodes 23-26 but I don’t mind interesting hijinks of characters fucking around if they could maintain the level of direction and animation. I have enjoyed stuff like Haruhi, Kill La Kill, Champloo and Vandread when they are just fucking around without moving any plot forward. I don’t know if it’s fun like the shows I mentioned though so I need to watch more to find out.

G Gundam:

I don’t hold Gundam as this highly regarded real robot show that is heavy on its realism factor. Hell, the first Gundam has super robot like gattai sequence so I don’t really think G Gundam deviate that far from what Gundam means. However, I don’t really know if G Gundam is worth 49 episodes of my time. I like hot blooded manly stuff but I don’t think my idea of manliness= macho. I hated GaoGaiGar for example and think that it’s a piece of shit. I can’t find anything to convince me that this stuff is worth it.

Seiha Girl:

It’s still good. Very hardcore in sega references. For example, I don’t even know the existence of Border Break because it’s a 2009 Japanese arcade game. How deep do you need to go to know about that? I think this shit is the real nerd show because your enjoyment really depend on how nerdy you are.

Blue Blazes:

Blue Blazes is the best anime in 2014, even though it’s a live action show. Go watch it.

Legend of Black heaven is about a 40 years old salary man facing mid life crisis and wonder if he is truly happy by being caught in the drift and gave up on his rock and roll dream for a more down to earth life. You would think that the premise of the show will be heavy and tender but not really, it’s a comedy and the only heavy stuff appears in episode 5. The rest is just his attempt to recapture his dream of rock and roll.

Now, I can see why people are impressed because you seldom see such premise appearing in an anime. That’s true but if you step out of anime, the story of mid life crisis and recapturing your childhood dream is actually done to death. Not only that, they are done better with more personality because Black Heaven don’t really say much about its character and what they are facing. Beside episode 5, it doesn’t really implore what Oji is thinking and how is he dealing with that. Even with that, during episode 6, he just turn ok after getting beaten down by reality when a hot woman send her a guitar under a snowy sky. Ok, I thought I would see more introspection and drama but all right, whatever.

In fact, I enjoyed the realistic dynamic between Oji and his wife and how disconnected a family can be. But it doesn’t really dwell on it too much because rock and roll and hot alien woman are more important. Beside the first two episodes of tender moment of husband and wife, his wife was just relegated as an obstacle and nuisance for his dream and nothing more after that.

Episode 4 where we are shown how disconnected Oji and his son was is also fucking terrible. First, Oji is a terrible father, he left his son alone in the park because he is a irresponsible, self absorbed adult who wants to play guitar. In the end, he put his son in danger and what did he receive in return? Adoration from his son instead of resentment. Realistically, his son should realize that his father love guitar more than him but no, the anime don’t have the balls to go there. It doesn’t want to show you how to solve this complicated issue. Instead, it went the easy way out of showing the heart warming moment of father saving son when it was the father who put his son in danger in the first place. FUCK!

Layla is also a terrible character. Tell me, what’s the point of her beside being a plot device that will stand by Oji no matter what he face. She’s that perfect girl friend character in your generic harem. You think harem only happen in high school anime but nope! Wish fulfillment applies to everyone.

The music was all right but that guitar riff and the colorful silhouette were overused. It was cool the first time round but it well on and on in each episode. What the hell?

I am now halfway on episode 9 and I think that his friend will go to see his concert and relinquish their passion in forming a band. Then they will have this power of friendship reunion and team up to have this epic space battle, win the shit out of it and relinquish their youth. It will then tell you that you shouldn’t forget your dream because dream is the pursuit of real happiness.

I actually hope I am wrong because if that happen, no matter how well done or how I am a sucker for the old men friendship thing, Black Heaven would just be an all right cartoon that offers nothing new.

I bought and read like 70 volumes of Naruto but I pirated the last 20 chapters because I heard that the characters have kids and want to see if Naruto and Hinata got together. In the end, that’s the only thing I really care about because the story turned into woman alien planned this shit and Sasuke is so feeble in his motivation that you can lie to him that eating shit makes him strong and he will believe it. Like “Yea, Sasuke, hatred makes you strong, eating shit cause you hatred and make people hate you, you won’t have any friend if you eat shit so your destiny is to go eat shit.” and he will proceed on in eating shit without knowing that you duped him.

To be honest, I am quite impressed by Naruto, sure, it’s not tightly written but it didn’t succumbed to its own weight by having really obvious plot holes( though it did crumble on its own weight by getting overly convoluted and contrived to cover these plot holes). Most shonen manga like Dragonball and Hokuto no Ken gave the shit up and blatantly recon the shit out of things and having tons of plot holes just to lengthen its story. That’s not to say that it’s planned very well because it did pull a lot of things out of its ass and it’s obvious that Kishimoto dropped a lot of things like Byakugan being strong, Zabuza and swordsmen, Rock Lee’s side story and  basically all the other side characters arc. He even wanted to salvage Ten Ten by showing that she might be able to use the Six Sage items to do something but nope, Ten Ten is still fucking useless.

The early Naruto is actually pretty good because they have strategic battles and villains aren’t really that overpowered, you feel that anyone could really beat anyone. Even though this lessen the tension because our heroes are in lesser predicament but in the long run, after seeing overpowered shit like Madara and Kaguya, I think it’s really for the better. Because in the end,  only Naruto and Sasuke could do something and battles are decided by who could make the biggest kamehameha.It did try to have some strategic fights but after seeing the trick of clone techniques for the one millionth time, you couldn’t really call that smart. In fact, beside Shikamaru’s fights, most fights in the second part are kinda sub-par.

Onto the characters, Naruto’s woman characters are at least league better than most other stuff in term of gender equality and strength. Yea, they are still not good enough but at least the poison is less poisonous on this side. The other characters like Rock Lee, Hinata, Killer Bee, Kekkaishi, Minato, Naruto’s mom and many others except are good to above average characters. Hell, besides Sasuke and Sakura, I don’t really dislike any of them, even  if they are useless like Sai and Ten Ten. Seriously, what’s the point of Sai and Ten Ten?

Oh, and the twists. I guess Itachi was planned to be a good guy because I have that vibe since he first appears(It’s a cop-out reason to kill everyone just because you are very evil, Kishimoto had since shown through Zabuza that he at least put some thoughts into character building. Though Itachi’s story is really not that good and sensible and it’s really a disappointment because I expected better written stuff that is not contrived) and it’s very obvious that Naruto’s father is the 4th Hokage earlier on. Other stuff like Tobi, Madara, Black Zetsu, Kaguya and such? Nah, don’t think so, they are all made up as they go. Very contrived, twist for the sake of twisting, I don’t even feel surprise or whatever and just let it goes and accept whatever shit it throws at me without thinking too much.

It may seems like I hate Naruto and think it is a piece of shit story but well, in actual fact, I think Naruto was worth the money and effort. I liked Shikamaru and some of the characters like Jiraiya and Killer Bee among many other likable stuff. The good strategic battles, the really great first 26 volumes, great detailed wtf did he really drew that in 1 week art, the hot blooded and cool lines, the grand scale of chaotic summoning battles, the above average characters that try not to be generic and really inventive jutsus far outweigh its flaws. It’s not even far fetched to say that Naruto is one of the best Ninja anything because honestly, name me another serious, non b grade good ninja anime/novel/manga/movie whatever. Basilisk? Dagger of Kamui? Ninja Trilogy(Ridiculously awesome but not really serious) movies? Ninja Scoll that is more like samurai than ninja? Path of Assassin maybe. I like Flame of Recca better but honestly, Naruto is the better written work.

There’s a justified reason why it got so popular and ran for 72 volumes, it has its own charm and a veneer/illusion of depth that are league better than run of the mill generic shit even though it’s not good enough to be in the top tier, unlike One Piece.

Themes? What themes? I just want to see ninjas fighting ninjas and don’t really care for consistent theme. I don’t learn moral lesson from this shit. Fuck moral lesson but children should really learn from Naruto because beating up dog is very cool and talent reign supreme over hard work. It’s all about the genes and bloodline dude. Hard work is bullshit without talent because you can’t be the best without talent. Children should understand that and don’t hope for anything that’s untrue.

P.S: Woah, I read the internet and Naruto fans love to over think shit. Maybe you can analyses why it got so popular but hell no should you over-analyses the plot of Naruto so much, it’s not that even that deep. There’s even delusional fangirls that still ship Naruto and Sakura by finding things that are not even there. Woah! Dude(err, woman dude so GAL?), move on.

After years of trying, I have no idea how to critic shit. I gave up on it because I don’t watch cartoon critically. I watch it for  inspirations so here’s my meaningless thought on stuff I watched recently.

 

Kill la Kill: It was pretty good, but I am disappointed that it just stay good when there are hints of promises that it can reach a greater height. My issue with it is the lack of a strong core in the story. The central theme of “strange people having the right to live” is kinda tacked on halfway because they have no idea what the hell the cartoon is going to be. The reveal that took 16 episode to build up is lame. I joked about the finale being alien coming down shooting everyone’s asses with dragonballs and I wasn’t that far away from it. Most fights from episode 3 to 16 don’t have any point in them. To sum it up, I think there’s a lack of focus in its plot because they have no idea what to do with it. Are they trying to make a comedy with new sketches for every episode, or are they trying to go for narrative? In the end, they mashed the two together and ended up not excelling in any of them, but they are good enough to provide good enough entertainment in this piece of ADHD Frankenstein sheep.

 

Galaxy Express 999: I joked about 10 years old committing cold blooded mass murders with no remorse. It’s true but I think that’s just the sensibility of the 70s. However, it’s quite jarring when they delve on about the deep melancholy of the human psyche while not giving a shit that this 10 years old is killing people left and right without giving a single fuck! That’s just a minor funny thing I have on the back of my mind.

For the show proper, I like it a lot. The idea of traveling to space and visiting a whole new imaginative planet is very romantic. There are a lot, and I mean a lot of melodrama happening in these planets. People are just depressed and sad. Couples commit suicide in a formless planet because everything with a form will end up deteriorating, homeless woman wanting to please her parents by pretending to have a husband and every citizen in the planet turned into stone and you being the lone survivor. It contains pretty much all the sad and lonely stories you can think of. I love these kind of melodrama, I especially love the melancholy and poetic summary for the theme of the planet at the end of each episode.

On a side note for the characters, Maetel is MILF moe and Tetsuro is a happy go lucky spoiled brat that don’t like to bath and commit mass murder. I also like how they add personality to the train conductor by showing moments such as having him slept through his work.

Kawai Complex and Whatever the title is: This is like those feel good fluffy romance series with a soft touch that J.C Staff(I know it’s Brainbase) used to love making. It’s an enjoyable show that tries to take harem cliche and turn them around. The seemly perfect girl is an anti social with personality flaw, the usual breast to face  turned into elbow to face and the pervy side kick character is a true masochist.  It’s pretty light hearted fun with excellent use of contrasting colours with semi interesting characters with hints of natural flowing non generic dialogs. It pretty self aware but still not self aware enough to turn it into something different.

Blassreiter: I heard complains about teenage characters in anime. I don’t really mind them as my qualms with characters have nothing to do with their age, I just care if they are interesting or not.  Blassreiter has tons of adult characters,  boring adult characters. It also have a lot of terrible cg in fight scenes. I don’t mind cg animation but I do mind shitty fight scenes and gonzo is not good enough to utilize cg to create impressive fight.

One Week Friend: Same as Kawai complex whatever, soft fluffy romance series with a gimmick that fuels melancholic episodes.  They deal with that depressing melodrama pretty well but honestly speaking, I doubt they will care about her if she’s an ugly fuck. There’s a hint of wish fulfillment in that I, nice guy otaku number 1, is the only human who understand this cute waifu’s flaw and thus provide me a convenient excuse to get easy date with my waifu.

Seha High School Girl: Gdgd Fairies is awesome because it has interesting wacky interesting dialogs that flow naturally. It’s like a conversation I will have with a group of friend. Similarly, Seha girls has the same wacky dialog with an interesting focus in deep nerdy sega references that only hardcore ass will understand. If you don’t get the references, it can still be funny because they have interesting dialogs such as believing everything you heard from the Internet. Oh, and Masayuki Kibe, that writer of Game Center CX and certified Sega nerd is the co-writer for the script so you know the Sega knowledge is true and hardcore as shit.

Captain Harlock: It’sok but not as good as GE 999. I only seen one episode of it. I would like to stay in a world where it’s socially acceptable to watch tv(albeit propaganda shit but I am sure there are gems in there also) everyday without the need to work so I don’t understand why Harlock is so piss that he wants to revolutionize the system by becoming a pirate..

IWICSYI

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